Hmmm I wonder is the site large enough for these LOL
Magic Mirror
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.
If you told a lie it would suck you in.
One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.
Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.
It's with tremendous sadness that I report a local blond girl has lost 95% of her brains....yes, her husband just died.
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?
A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
Q: What do you call a blonde holding a brief case, up a tree?
A: The Branch Manager.
Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A: Proof-reading.
Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q: Why do blondes love lightning?
A: They reckon somebody is taking their photo.
Q: What's brown, red, black and blue?
A: A Brunette who's been tellin one too many blonde jokes.
NEWSFLASH: Blonde girl fired from Banana plantation for throwing out all the bent ones.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde manage to make Ice-Cubes?
A: She couldn't find the recipe.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde?
A: Space. The final frontier..........
Q: What did the blond do when she missed the 66 Bus?
A: She took the 33 bus twice instead.
Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs?
A: Cos they've no idea of the route.
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes Twinkle?
A: You shine a torchlight in her ear.
Q: How does a stereotypical blonde spell Farm?
A: E-I-E-I-O.
Q: How do you measure their intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in their ear.
To amuse a Blonde for hours, give her a sheet of paper with 'Please turn over' scribbled on both sides.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champion.
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: What does a postcard from a blonde's vacation say?
A: Having a fantastic time. Where am I?
Q: Why are blonde's immune to Mad Cow Disease?
A: It only affects the brain.
Q: What do you call blonde twins doing bubble gum commercials?
A: Double-dumb.
Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You'd pull the pin and throw it back.
